Adoption became implanted on our hearts when our desire to have children proved to be challenging. After several years and a few rounds of fertility meds, God blessed us with two biological children. Even when our second child was a newborn, we still knew that adoption couldn’t be ruled out to complete our family. We had been given children, but what about the children that needed to be given parents? We wanted to be available.
Little did we know that this was just the beginning of a road of decisions. What agency? International? Domestic? God, what do you want us to do? We finally learned that we had the most important thing figured out-God’s heart for adoption. The rest is just details. He would lead us every step of the way. He is bigger than us, and He would not allow us to mess up His plan! Doors opened and doors closed, and we took the plunge into the Ethiopian program with America World.
When we brought Silas home, he was two years old. Here was a little boy filled with frustration, anger, and confusion while experiencing the normal terrible twos…and we were called to love him. It was extremely challenging. I took on his anger too, and questioned why God led us down this path. We turned to the book of 1 John for comfort. If we love the lovable, how are we any different than the world? Doesn’t God call us to a higher love? The only way we even know of love is because He first loved us…regardless of our behavior or biological tie. We decided to commit to love Silas with our heads and allow the Lord to bring on the emotional love trusting that one day we would feel like his parents.
We still have our challenges, but we now know that Silas is our little boy. I read over our post placement visit notes and stand in awe at how far we have come. Silas’ anger has softened and so have our hearts. We sometimes wonder who has changed the most-Silas or us. Adoption has been an incredible season of spiritual growth because all of our selfishness and anger has been laid bare before the Lord. Being refined is not fun, but God is good and He is faithful. He who began a good work will complete it…even use a little African boy to do it!