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The Benefit of Waiting

The Benefits of Waiting- Reflections from an Adoptive Parent’s Heart
-By Adeline Quay

The Psalmist encourages himself to forget none of the Lord’s benefits-His forgiveness, healing, salvation, loving kindness and compassion.  As friends and family have asked me about how our adoption is going, I’ve been prone to complain.  In the past several months I’ve tried to be more positive in my response.  Then one day the Lord put it all together for me as I realized all the benefits of waiting.  I became encouraged when I saw the bigger picture.   Now I can truly be thankful for the wait and share with others the good that has come from this time.

• Orphans from other countries have benefited as the long wait has caused families contemplating adoption to consider adoption from nations other than China.

• Waiting children have benefited as the wait has led some families to consider adopting older children and special needs children who may not have previously considered adopting a waiting child.

• The wait has caused me to be less focused on myself and to have more compassion for the many other parents who are also waiting.

• I pray more for orphans worldwide as I contemplate how painful it is for them to wait and wonder when or if they will be adopted.

• We have been able to experience the love and care of others as they have prayed for us during our wait.

• We have been able to speak to others desiring children, warning them against becoming bitter as they wait.

• Our trust in God has grown as we have become aware of how much we try to control circumstances in our lives and realize just how little control we actually have.

• On a personal level, keeping our health information up to date for our home study has made us aware of the need for a healthier lifestyle.

• During one of my low periods of discouragement an adoptive mother suggested I make the most of the time and work on house projects.  My home has never been more organized.

• The wait has caused me to look at things with a long-term perspective.  A few people asked about a year into the wait if we could get our money back if we changed our mind about waiting.  I did not want to wait but I also did not want to give up.  Looking at the situation from a long-term perspective, I pictured my husband and I old and gray with our grown Chinese daughter and grandchildren thinking about how short 3 years is in comparison to the privilege of raising and shaping an eternal soul. 

• The wait has allowed us to teach our 8-year old daughter different things.  We’ve been able to teach her about waiting on God and trusting Him as she waits for her sister pointing out to her the many examples in the Bible where God fulfilled His word even when it took a long time.  We’ve been able to talk to her about compassion when she mentions being lonely pointing out to her the loneliness the orphans must feel not having families.  We have also been able to talk to her about perseverance.

• Finally, I pray more for the unsaved as the waiting and yearning has caused me to think about how much our Father waits and yearns for His children to come to Him.

“Bless the Lord, O my soul, and forget none of His benefits; … who satisfies your years with good things, so that your youth is renewed like the eagle.† Psalm 103:2, 5


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