Parenting Tips: Collaborating for Success

Parenting Tips
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a ministry of America World Adoption
“…taking hold of the hope set before us…” – Hebrews 6:18

Collaborating for Success

This past couple of weeks we have been working on our annual performance evaluations in the AWAA Affiliate Offices as well as our annual Strategic Planning for all of America World.  This has been a nice time to reflect, pray together, check-in, think about our progress and problems, etc.  It has made me think about my parenting as well, and I am reminded of tips and stories I have seen over the years about family meetings, family mission statements, and similar things.  I am also reminded about a Karyn Purvis technique that involves compromise, sharing power, “I need this….what do you need?”  I think all these things tie together– performance evaluations, strategic planning, reflection, checking in, compromise – and in all this, the end goal is success via the means of collaboration.  I think this is important in families as well as organizations.

How can you collaborate for success in your family?  There are many different things written on this topic, and this blog post is just a tiny drop in the bucket, but here is one idea that you may want to consider.  Think about an annual (or semi-annual, or monthly?) “performance evaluation” or “strategic planning” time with each of your children.  For some of you, these terms may feel negative or judgmental, but in my mind, these types of meetings are characterized by open communication and mutual respect as you seek the best for everyone involved, as well as the organization (or family) as a whole.  As a parent or supervisor, you can ask questions that give you direct feedback like, “How has this year been for you? What is working?  What is not working well?  What do you need to do your job better, or what do you need from me? How do you wish things were different?”  You can also share direct feedback like, “You have been doing a fantastic job in this area…. This thing you have been doing is not working well for us….What can I do to help you do this better?”  Having a focused, regular, conversation like this with your child will hopefully draw you closer together, may give you new ideas to make your family work better, AND it will help your child feel valued (“have a voice”) as well as a sense of responsibility as you solve problems and celebrate successes together.

This article was written by Amber Lewis, Clinical Supervisor with America World Adoption, and the Director of Social Services in our Oklahoma office.  Amber has more than 20 years experience as a professional counselor and over 12 years in the adoption field.  She is a parent by birth and by adoption.  

ACT (Adoption Coaching and Training) is a ministry of America World Adoption designed to support families through training, support groups, and individualized coaching.  Explore ACT services on our website here, and reach out to us today for a free consultation to make a plan to meet your needs.