My husband and I got engaged in 1999 and got married later that year. During our engagement we started discussing how we would like our future to look including how many children we wanted in our family. During the course of that conversation we naively and tacitly agreed we would have two kiddos---one biological and one adopted.
In 2002, we decided to get serious about starting a family. Since we figured it would be “easiest” we went about the conventional route of “making a family.” Two years later--after one miscarriage and a full six months of clomid we still weren’t pregnant. I encountered a book called “Adoption after Infertility.” Through this book I was able to start processing the loss of having a biological child. The Lord held my hand during this very low point and showed me that He had a plan for my family that I couldn’t even imagine. One month later, after many tears I was pregnant. Our son was born on Easter Day in 2005.
About the time our son turned 18 months we discussed enlarging our family. After prayer and discussion we decided to stick with our original plan of adding to our family via adoption. After attending an adoption conference and talking to a host of families who had adopted we decided to adopt from China. From the beginning of the process I felt most comfortable adopting a child who was 18 months or younger. However, Jeremy (my husband) was comfortable adopting a much older child. We submitted our application to America World in June of 2007 for a healthy baby 18 months or younger.
As the wait for an infant became longer and my son was becoming older we felt the Lord prompt us to join the Waiting Child program. We submitted our application for a child 2 and under and continued to wait. The waiting wasn’t as hard for us as I imagine it was for many who are awaiting the opportunity to be first-time parents but the Lord was showing me in particular that our family would be different than I originally envisioned. After much prayer and soul searching we changed our waiting child application to a child 8 and under. My husband and I have always made decisions based on if we are “like minded.” We joke that Jeremy often comes around to my way of thinking but this time the Lord brought me around to his idea—we were now both open to adopting an older child.
After changing our paperwork we received a call from America World the next day asking us if we were interested in looking at a referral for a 7 year old girl on the waiting child list. Jeremy never one to make a rash decision looked at the picture and said that’s “our girl.” I nervously agreed!
We traveled to bring our daughter home in late summer of 2009. While in China we realized that our girl was born about the time we started trying to add to our family in 2002. The Lord had answered our prayers in 2002 in ways that would couldn’t even begin to comprehend.
Lillian BeiBei has been home for almost a year and a half. We believe that the Lord guided us to our daughter. She has been a perfect addition to our family and it is hard to remember what life was like before she came home.
The Lord not only provided a wonderful daughter for us but the experience has made us all better people. The decision to adopt an older child should not be taken lightly but with God’s guidance it could be just what your family needs. It was certainly true in our case.