Below is a message I wrote to families a couple years ago reflecting upon my experience adopting a boy; when I sent this message I received a lot of positive feedback from families. Iâ€™ve decided to re-post this on our blog for families who may not have read this:
I was somewhat reluctant when my wife wanted us to adopt a son. At that time we had three girls and we were comfortable being parents to girls. Having a son was an unknown experience. Plus, my daughters were â€œdaddyâ€™s girlsâ€ and if Iâ€™m honest, I suppose I really liked having that parental role.
Our three girls were quite well-behaved and I (mistakenly) thought that boys were more difficult because of their energy level and rambunctious behavior. God has shown me through my fourth daughter that girls can have every bit as much energy and willpower as boys can!
As my wifeâ€™s desire for a son increased, my trepidation at adopting a son increased. Iâ€™m ashamed to say I was concerned about â€œfleshlyâ€ things such as his reflection on me in his ability to do well in school, sports, etc. I also found myself thinking about him â€œcarrying on the family name.â€ As things progressed and my wife and I began considering a boy on Chinaâ€™s Waiting Child list â€“ I found myself trusting my wifeâ€™s knowledge that God had, in His sovereignty, determined how to form our family.
In the book of Ephesians it says that God can, â€œdo immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine.â€ That is how I would sum up what itâ€™s like being the father to my son: immeasurably more than I could ever have hoped, dreamed or imagined. I still love having â€œdaddyâ€™s girlsâ€ but I have found that just as much, I love having someone to play catch with, watch football games, talk about cars, watch NASCAR and countless other things that my girls arenâ€™t interested in. It is so much fun to have a son who is a star soccer player; itâ€™s fun when weâ€™re just having â€œguysâ€™ timeâ€ apart from my wife and daughters. I could not be more proud of him and I now know that having a son through birth would not make any difference.
To all the husbands out there who may have some of the same reluctance I had, I would encourage you to trust God for what Iâ€™m confident will be more than you could ever hope or imagine: a son by adoption.