Cancer Wasn’t Part of the Plan
By Stephanie Roettger, America World Adoptive Mom
Pain. Devastation. Loss. This is what leads to adoption, and that was no different for us. Each of our journeys’ was fraught with hardships. Miscarriages and cancer for us. Hospitalization, health issues, and institutionalization for our daughter. However, without these trials, we would not have found each other.
God’s Perfect Timing
My husband Will and I had always wanted to adopt. We had talked and dreamed about it since we started dating. So when we got married, it was just a question of when. We decided that we would try to conceive a child of our own first and then look into adopting. We were blessed with our biological son, Wesley, a few years after being married. As we considered our future, we decided that we would instead try to have one more biological child before adopting. God, in His infinite wisdom, had other plans. Over the course of the next year and a half, we would suffer the loss of three babies by miscarriage. It was clear to us that we were meant to adopt right then.
We started our adoption journey just two months after our last miscarriage. We knew there were an astounding number of children living in institutions around the globe, waiting for a family. We learned there was a particularly high need in India and felt that it was the best fit for our family.
From the Depths of Despair
After about a year of working through loads of paperwork, we were waiting for word any day that we were approved in the international adoption system. The next step would be to receive a referral for a child in India. It finally felt so real, and the idea that we might see the first photos of our child very soon was so exciting.
Then came the earth-shattering news that my husband Will had cancer. Just three days later, we were told that we had been approved in the international system but would not be able to move forward with referrals as we were still learning the severity of Will’s cancer and the plan for treatment. We were devastated. After all, we’d been through, it felt like just as we were finally at the threshold of expanding our family, the door was slammed in our faces. It seemed that everything was falling apart for us. We were unsure of Will’s prognosis, whether or not we’d still be able to adopt, or if we would even still be able to have children after Will’s treatment.
Meanwhile, our daughter was experiencing devastating loss as well. After losing her family through abandonment, having major surgery to treat Spina Bifida, and spending the first 6 months of her life in a hospital, she lived in an orphanage for years, experiencing malnutrition, developing a parasite and serious staph infection, waiting to be chosen by a family.
Our Christmas Blessing
Little did we know, this precious little girl was waiting for us. After a summer of chemotherapy and a positive prognosis for Will, we were thrilled to hear that we could resume our adoption process. A couple of months later, just days before Christmas, we received a referral for our sweet girl and saw her picture for the first time. There was no doubt that she was our daughter—our Christmas miracle—our Noelle.
What comes to mind when we consider our journey to and through adoption? God’s timing is perfect. He used our hardships to bring about His perfect plan. “The heart of a man plans his way, but the Lord directs his steps” (Proverbs 16:9). This path that has crossed through pain, death and illness has directed and prepared us for this exact place and time. And now that we are together everything is right and complete. Relief. Joy. Bliss.
We are so grateful to Stephanie for sharing this beautiful story with us! As she says, God’s timing is perfect! The story of Roettger’s Christmas miracle comes at the perfect time for getting us in the mood for celebrating the first Christmas miracle, God’s gift of his Son to us.
What About YOU?
Have you been praying about adoption but haven’t taken the first step? Our Learn About Adoption page is a great place to start! You can also visit our Waiting Child Photolistings to see profiles of just a few of the children who need homes. (Many more than we have time and resources to highlight also wait!)
If you can’t adopt, you can always help make adoption possible for other families. Our Season of Hope matching grant gives you a chance to DOUBLE the impact you can make on the life of a child.
Thank you for your obedience to God’s call—whatever that might be!