Have you ever felt like you just weren't good enough? America World mom, Melissa Lycan, shares her insight, below, into 'being good enough' as she looks forward to completing the adoption of her child from India.
Confessions of an Imperfect Mom
"You lost your patience with her again?"
"If your heart rate rises at his tantrums, how is the world do you think you’ll handle your new daughter from India? Who knows what special needs she’ll have?"
"What makes you think you should even be adopting?"
There’s this little voice in my head that says I’M NOT GOOD ENOUGH. When my children's sins cause me to sin, the enemy questions my decision to adopt. My husband and I are in the final stage of our adoption process. Once the judge brings down the gavel, we will be on a plane to India to meet our daughter and bring her home. It’s exciting and it’s terrifying. Lately, the enemy, Satan, has been hissing his lies into my heart. He is doing his best to make me feel unworthy of mothering this sweet Indian baby.
But there’s this louder voice; the voice of my Heavenly Father, telling me, "you're not good enough, but it’s okay, because I AM". I have my weakness to offer, and that’s enough, because when I am weak, then He is strong! God’s love has been poured into my heart, which will overflow into my daughter’s new heart. I don’t have an endless supply of love, grace and mercy. But I am plugged into the Source who does, and I know He will give me the grace, patience and wisdom to handle the joys and struggles of bringing our sweet daughter home.
Adoption is such a beautiful picture of the gospel, but there’s this gaping hole in the analogy. See, God is the perfect Dad. He always knows how to handle our tantrums, heal our wounds, sooth our sorrows. But, me? I am a completely imperfect mom. I often get exasperated with my son’s tantrums, frustrated when I can’t heal wounds, and impatient with my daughter’s defiance. It’s moments like those where the Holy Spirit brings me to my knees and convicts me for trying to mother on my own. He reminds me that it’s okay to repent and ask my children for forgiveness. Even if my 'grace tank' is empty by the end of the day, He is faithful to fill it up again!
I’m the daughter of the Perfect Father. And that qualifies me to adopt.
America World Mom